Dear all! This is a creation born out of a mind of absolute
equanimity. This is a cogent recording of sequential questions which erupted in
me as a consequence of my observations of the happenings around me since my
childhood. This is intended to invoke critical thinking. This is not to be
misconstrued as a commencement of a fusillade. Now, shall we plunge into a deep pool of lucid
mind? I’m sure it’s amazing and amusing too! Come on! Let’s dive. We sink
deeper and deeper... Do you find somebody there? Who’s that? A Woman!
Woman...? Who’s she? Whether a resource, rather an
owned property of a man? Or his absolute strength? A behind the screen
performer responsible /creditable for his success? Is she the one who’s
enslaved by male fraternity? Is she the
most protected, treasured wealth of a man, his Gruha Lakshmi? Is she a wise
adviser (mantri), an able assistant who humbly underplays and yet prevents him
from going wrong with mendicant prayers? Is she the one who averts the mayhems
which could ruin him in no time but capitulate to him as her sole saviour? Is she the (ardhangini) one who ably aides
him physically, financially, mentally and psychologically besides submitting
all the credits of his prosperity and success to him? Is SHE the one extolled
as the wealth of Vishnu, the knowledge
of Brahma and the sole strength of Paramesvara? Is SHE the Parabrahmasvarupini,
the explicit form of the Brahmam the almighty? Is SHE the all powerful
Parashakthi who’s vested with the
samarasyam, equality with the Parabrahmam, the Paramesvara?
The ever known powerful women whether mythological or the
ones known to have lived with flesh and blood were projected to the fore front
due to the non availability of male alternatives and were normally the sole
woman heads of male societies; and were mostly succeeded by men. Otherwise,
even the most competent women of both mythology and the common world were and
are still beheld as contributors, supporters, mentors or aides to the male
fraternity. Career women of the
yesteryears including my mother, mother-in-law and aunts were and are lauded as
financial contributors, dedicated supporters or/and the substratum of their
entire families that too mostly of their in-laws. However, neither have I
queried how they felt about themselves whether happy or regretful nor I’ve
asked how they intended to position themselves. The Supreme Goddess herself is
construed to be the equivalent of the Parabrahmam , the Almighty! Then..., is
SHE not the almighty herself? Is SHE only the evident, visible entity
representing or denoting the almighty? Is SHE HIS second self or HIS proxy?
Who is a woman by herself? What is her inherent identity? Is she created with her virtues to aid the
male fraternity? Does she evolve with all her abilities only to compromise and consolidate
her family life despite being a bread winner? Is her career ever been construed
as her identity? Or, is it a mere means to pool in money for her family? Is she
ever encouraged to have an identity of herself or should she mask herself with
the surname of her husband even if she’s self dependent? Though equality is a
constitutional right, is she given a portfolio in her family and society by the
virtue of a family? A woman transforms from Miss to Mrs with the onset of her marriage,
but Mr is the address acquired by a man as he grows up and lasts with him up
till his end. However qualified,
efficient and proficient she may be, whatever status she had attained in her
career, can a common woman evade
shifting to her husband’s place after her wedding? In case of pursuing a career then, if her job
is not transferrable, doesn’t she have to look for new placement or even to
restart her career? Had she been an achiever in her pre-marriage career,
doesn’t she have to abjure the recognition she earned? Doesn’t she have to
redo and replay a lot to regain her professional identity and reputation
besides running her domestic show? Home
making is a collective responsibility of the man and the woman of the family,
but we strange creatures tactfully put the onus on the female by hailing her as
a home maker! Won’t it be sensible to begin a romantic married life in the
place where the professionally better placed, better settled of the couple
resides?
Both boys and girls are trained up with equal efforts, then
why make the women play second fiddle? It’s distressing and rather frustrating
to see pictures in many of the school brochures portraying a
boy seated in front of the computer monitor and a girl of same calibre standing
beside him more like his personal assistant!
Two incidents which evoked a lot of questions right from the
alpha level of my mind:
1.
My granny as the ardhangini, the better half of
her husband, involved herself in the gala celebration of the birth centenary of
her in-laws just 3 days after the demise of her beloved sister.
2.
My aunt didn’t participate in the betrothal
function of her doting niece as her husband‘s sister lost her spouse.
I am still perplexed! How these two loving, doting females
conducted themselves so? Whether they whole heartedly abided the social norms
as the unpronounced dictum of God sans regret or were left out with no other
choice? Never had I spoken out about this to those dear ones. These recordings
had deeply settled at the bottom of my heart. Genuinely I’m unaware of actually
what they feel about it! What do you readers feel about this? Are men and women
equal?
Aren’t there definitions and specifications framed by the
society for the looks, behaviour, traits and responsibilities which a woman is supposed
to possess to qualify her as a woman? Aren’t even the powerful women obsessed
to fit into the definitions and grammar set for them by the male dominated
society? Since the historic ages till this modern age, could even empowered
women do away with the obsession of getting a pass/ top mark in looks, deeds,
behaviour and various other clauses in the assessment report which the society issues
them? Whether a decent or an appealingly
sensuous outfit, aren’t the women of various categories and generations
fastidiously conscious of the specifications set for their attire? Doesn’t the
slender, petite physique of Goddess Meenakshi who conquered all the worlds
wonder us? Right from the olden period,
up till the current day, what is the basis on which a costume is prescribed to
a woman? Whether it is the physical appeal it causes or the convenience of the
person wearing it? Art creations whether
literature of historic era or modern silver screen or even operas, don’t they depict timidity, delicacy, embarrassment,
fragility, helplessness, ignorance, dependence, inhibitions as the traits
enhancing the appeal of women? Don’t these evince that the creators of these
art forms seem to have underestimated the potential of women? Or, do these
traits embellish the femininity? Aren’t these depictions setting wrong examples
to female fraternity?
It’s high time the female fraternity ponder brood over and
realize their exact plight. It’s true
that a woman loves to be a daughter, sister, better-half, mother, daughter
in-law, sister in-law as it’s a blessing to enjoy these roles. Beyond these,
doesn’t a woman need an identity of herself? Think!!
Is it an identity or a portfolio or a mere avocation or simply
a means to generate income a woman needs? It’s up to the woman to decide, but, certainly
after a thorough critical analysis about herself and the scenario around her. Shouldn’t
she do an exhaustive study of herself, her situations and all the options
available? Shouldn’t she search for options? Shouldn’t she be completely aware
of what she decides? Shouldn’t she accurately know what she’s doing? Let a woman
be whatever, a career woman, a breadwinner or a home maker, shouldn’t it be
after a thorough self and situational analysis?
Should she take decisions with absolute awareness or should she take it
as she knows no other option? Think!!!!
WOMAN! After all it’s you to decide. There are people to
back you.
This is not the voice
of an aggrieved soul, but diction of a clarified mind. It’s rather an outcome
of observations and empathy. Know
thyself! Doesn’t matter whoever you are. Readers! Hope you are back to your
place.
Bye for now, see you soon with much more elicited,
provocative thoughts!
Nisha Ganapathy Sundara Raman
